Why Not What

Oh college, the first month of Junior year is reaching it's end...and I am stressed. Yup. I guess I could list all the things I have to prepare for and accomplish by, but I'm going to spare myself of the misery. I feel like my day is filled with me fast-walking to every single next destination. I rarely verbally say to anyone, I'm stressed, but I'm just going to write it again: I'm frustrated as heck that I don't have time to just relax and read a damn book for my enjoyment. However, this will pass and situations will fall into a routine soon enough. I will not be let down!

But just to reflect on some things, or more specifically, life things. My friend Carlos, showed me this really great video, a talk by Simon Sinek called, "How Great Leaders Inspire Action." After watching it, I couldn't help but feel a little happy that my mentality on a lot of things were on the right track (as in accordance with his idea). Basically, why you do something is much more significant than what you are doing. Why do we wake up early in the morning? Why do I push myself to the limits of my ability? It's not what I'm doing...anyone can do what great people do. We all have the potential to be a good leader, but what makes people want to join your cause is why you do what you do. I go out of my way to do things I'm passionate about. That is part of the reason why I will never admit that stress has gotten the best of me...because I like to hand-pick everything I dedicate my time to. And if you personally choose a priority, you should do it with a happy heart right?

Ah but still, I can't wait until I have time on my hands so I can just sit there (basking in the sunlight) drinking green tea and think. My friend also let me borrow Sinek's book, Start With Why. I'm excited to read it! But for now...back to studying for my accounting exam tomorrow.

Also, I finished my next photo shoot for collegefashion today! The article in still in the making...but guess what? My model is a guy so stay tuned :)

I will not despair. I will be patient. 
I will rejoice, inspire, love. 
Be worthy, humble, and positive. 

I get goosebumps...

every single time I hear this. 

We fall and we crash...just so we can stand again.
And we hurt and hurt so we can understand.

There is no way to peace, peace is the way.

An entire decade has flashed before my eyes but it only feels like I took a nap and woke up well-rested. Ten years has a way of doing that to you. It creeps up slowly, afraid of having the spotlight; but before you know it, it's still the center of the attention.

Ten years ago, I was in fifth grade and my problems involved who my best friends were, and whether or not I would be able to finish my homework fast enough so I can make it in time to watch my favorite cartoon on TV. Something extremely tragic happened ten years ago on this day, but I was only ten years old. All that I could comprehend was that my classmates were going home early one by one while I was still stuck on my "floor spot" in gym class. In the end I was able to leave school early as well. My dad picked me up from my elementary school -- I swear that was a first, and possibly a last.

We went home and watched the twin towers fall over and over again, while dust and tragedy filled the air of New York City. To my young mind, that was all.

Looking back, I realized that I was only a child when 9/11 happened. Today I see and can feel (but I assume only a fraction) of the broken hearts of families and silent cries of fallen heros. It makes me wonder what kind of skewed mentality or grasp of "understanding" I have right now as a 20 year old. Will all that matters to me today be found silly when I resmince upon it another decade later? 30 seems to be forever away, but will I blink my eyes and have tomorrow be another anniversary of this day? My curiousity cannot be stilled.

Nonetheless, I still feel like that child - the one who is probably lost but doesn't realize it yet. I just thank God that I'll have the choice to keep venturing forward. My heart goes out to all that has been lost at 9/11...you will never be forgotten. To those of us who are alive and breathing, we need to make it worthwhile...not only within our own lives but also for the world. Peace can start with just one person, just one small gesture. I really do believe a smile can change so much. Let us be reminded.

Updates With Coffee

I haven't been able to touch blogging since I've been back at college. (I knew this was going to happen!) I've been extremely busy but I don't even know with what; running around like a mad woman is not what I will allow to happen for the rest of the semester. Hopefully I will soon fall into a routine where I wake up early, (can I say that my alarm ringtone has a great deal of influence on whether you get out of bed or not?) stay awake in class, and be present and alive!

I just felt like writing a nothing entry because I miss it :) But stay tuned, there will be an entry in three days! Also I'm excited to get away from the bustle this weekend...I'm going home for my cousin's wedding!! YES to true love. Okay, this entry will end with that cheesiness.

Have a great semester everyone!